What to do when you have no idea what you want to do

I have toyed with the idea of being an RCMP officer, a nomad, a teacher, an engineer, an actress, a massage therapist, and a psychologist. It seems like with every new profession I research there is another person saying. “Becca, just find something you like and stick with it”.

You think a 25 year old who spent 60 grand to go to university would have a set plan in place for their life. Nopeee, I watch those around me grow up, buy houses, have children, get married, and get full time jobs… and then there is me. After graduating I had waitressed, managed retail, bartended and had jobs in sales. None of which I have been able to stick with for more than a year at a time (usually 6-8 months max). These were all temporary positions just killing time and making money to travel while I decided what I wanted to do full time.

I think the reason I have had such a difficult time deciding on a profession is that I can’t fully commit myself to anything I don’t love. I don’t like putting all my eggs in one basket because that means sacrificing all of the half filled baskets that contain cluttered hopes and dreams. Therein lies the bane of my contentment with employment. I am bound by my desire to do so many different things that it squelches any chance I have at succeeding in one field.

I was ranting to my friend Beth about this job situation the other day and she brought up an incredible point “ what makes you thrive? What makes you feel like you are making a difference?” For some people that is organizing , for others its assisting, leading, or service. I had to sit and re prioritize because for me, work has always been about making money so I can enjoy my time outside of the office/restaurant.

The one consistent in all of my previous jobs would be the feeling I would get when I would walk into work and instantly think “ I can’t wait to quit”or ” can someone just pay me to exist?”.  By idolizing positions with a lot of cash flow I completely crushed any hope I had of being in a workplace that I enjoyed leaving me bitter and negative. So, when I moved out west, I switched my focus and started looking at jobs that I could grow both personally and professionally. I started applying to jobs I believed to be under qualified for and I started getting interviews at places where when I walked in the door I wasn’t just thinking about how many months it would be before I could leave and travel.

“Be who you were created to be and you will set the world on fire” -St Catherine

I love that quote but I have to remember that the creation of who I am as a functioning member of society is going to take time and experiences. Its okay to experiment with different job positions. I strongly adhere to the philosophy that human beings cannot happily do a job where

a) we are overqualified

b) we aren’t affecting change or growth in some way

c) there isn’t variety.

Finding your passion usually doesn’t just come in an epiphany moment. It is sacrifice, and hard work, and sifting through jobs that are completely wrong for you for a little while.

These last few years have been as incredible and life altering as they have been messy. I do not regret any time I have spent in transition because I would much rather take the time at this point in my life to figure out what I really have passion for rather than be 40 years down the road stuck in a profession that makes me miserable.

 

 

 

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